Day 1 & 2, Brooklyn, New York

30 04 2008

Flight 125 American Airlines, London to New York 28th of April.

On the flight I managed to watch the one movie that (no not “Autumn in New York“) made me wonder why humans don’t just off themselves for being self-indulgent money wasting viruses. This film was called “August Rush” and my head hurts just writing about it. Whatever you do, DO NOT SEE IT. I wanted to poke out my eyes and stick pencils in my ears while whittling away the time on the flight. At least I got a hundred pages in of Naomi Klein’s book The Shock Doctrine. Read it if you get the chance; it’s absolutely disturbing but helps make sense of the world and what’s gone wrong in it.

So fine, the flight was good and Darlinda greeted me into her amazing house and we napped and chatted and soon got ready to go to Galapagos for the BARC no-kill animal shelter benefit. I have to say it was one of my favorite nights concerning who was on stage and the acts that ended up gracing that stage.

The line up was Bambi The Mermaid & Queen of Coney Island & Willow, Little Brooklyn, Creamy Stevens, Kit Cat, Animal Crackers Dance Troupe, Bearlinda, Bunny Love, Dirty Martini, & Erin Markey, & myself, co Hosted by TIGGER! & The World Famous *BOB*. Bambi made the audience CRY with her “Loving You” mermaid act with her side kick tiny dog, Little Brooklyn did her Faye Ray/King Kong act which won her the 1st runner up title at Miss Exotic World last year, Creamy Stevens basically ate herself naked as a cannibal cow, Kit Cat was a kitty giving birth to mysterious objects, Bearlinda/Darlinda Just Darlinda stripped as a bear, Bunny Love showed her short film about her love affair with her dog and danced until she was all tied up and blindfolded, Erin Markey performed parts of her play leaving everyone in tears with laughter and Tigger was a tiger hunter who ended up making love to his tiger.

Then something strange happened (as if it wasn’t strange enough); I performed my horse act consisting of me running around the venue with a horse head on to an old soundtrack of a race caller calling a Grand National race from the 40’s, I fall down, break my leg and then get shot. Stormy the stage manage told me I made her cry just after she had dried her eyes from Bambi’s act. After I left the stage I quickly ran to the audience to see *BOB*’s act, which ended up looking like she was going to my horse’s funeral and then she turned into a heavenly unicorn. It’s difficult to convey how strange this was seeing that she nor I knew what each other was going to perform.


Then to top off the evening Animal Crackers came out and just about made everyone’s sides hurt from their amazing animal disco jazz dance routine.

I slept well that night.

Day 2

Darlinda’s day off and we both booked massages and stumbled around Manhattan afterward taking care of getting a phone, a map of Brooklyn and getting some grocery shopping done. Trader Joe’s was an intense experience. There was a queue around the store and apparently what we encountered was nothing in comparison to the usual queues. Then we went to sushi in the East Village and I practically fell asleep in some seaweed salad. It was a good day off.

Spring has sprung!

26 04 2008

I’m so excited that it’s a lovely 22 degrees outside! I thought last month’s snow meant that spring would never arrive but it finally has. Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that the English skies don’t shit rain all over my parade as I do the festival circuit.

There are some exciting things coming up for me and BurlyQ. Nothing is confirmed but it looks like we’ll be at the Latitude Festival and I’ll be performing with Gawkagogo hopefully and BurlyQ.

BurlyQ’s doing a one off night at the Bethnal Green Working Men’s club on the 30th of May and it should be a laugh. Please join us for a night of dancing and rude performance!

Bearlesque and BurlyQ are working on conquering the universe together this autumn and there will be much to write about once we have all our plans firmly in order.

Other than that I’M GOING TO NEW YORK ON MONDAY!!!!!!! If I can make it there……. London won’t seem quite as hard.


Ode to Andy

16 04 2008

Randy Mawlwhore’s “Flush” – this was put together by the lovely Emma and Paul of Anarchistwood,, exgratiarecordings fame! We put the video together for a VERY long performance art act that appeared at the Shunt Vault for a Warhol night. Everyone ended up confused and bored by the end of our 15 min “nurses wrap people and the stage in aluminum foil”, but the ones who were laughing were REALLY laughing.

A Little Horsing Around

13 04 2008

fancy chance at ex gratia recordings launch horse head flip

Thanks for sending this to me Emma! Go horse head!

Go Ex Gratia Recordings! Go Anarchistwood!!!

Nick Cave kissed me….

13 04 2008

Once on each cheek as a goodbye and thanks for a long day of being a character in a video shoot for the Bad Seeds next single from “Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!”

All of the guys were lovely and the directors were very human and extremely kind as were the staff they had on hand.

The shoot started around 9am. I was surviving on fumes more or less because I performed at Stranger Than Paradise quite late last night and returned home to a fucking car alarm whining at me from nearby. Bastards!!! So after about 2 hours of sleep I called a cab to a venue in Soho and did my little bit as a showgirl getting ready in the dressing room before anyone else had arrived.

Then I waited. Being in a film shoot is all about is waiting and waiting.

Ima Doll was there poll dancing along with here friend Coco. It think most of the extras ended up watching them for most of the shoot cuz they were HOT, HOT, HOT!!!! Made me feel like a droopy drawered step child next to them… so I cinched my corset a little tighter and ignored all mirrors.

All in all; in my tired and fucked state right now, it was worth it because I got to see a band I’ve been listening to for over a decade, be human, real and generally nice instead of arrogant and arsy.

Thanks Iain Forsyth & Jane Pollard you were wonderful and I wish you all the best! Your films are fantastic and it’s nice to know there are cool interesting people who don’t have to be snobs just because they can.

I’m also a Solid black Anglo Arab breeding stock

12 04 2008

When I saw this, a tiny bit of pee came out with my laughter…

11 04 2008

I don’t know if I’m an absolute moron for thinking that this is funny …. or even new to anyone but I had to post it!

Binocular Footy!!!!!