Home again, home again

9 05 2008

Doing Sweet and Nasty on Sunday at Rififi as my last show of the trip was great. I brought my “Fancy Chance IS the Lovechild of Hikaru Sulu and Uhura” especially for Nasty Canasta and Delerium Tremens (she didn’t make it cuz she was partied out and will be kicking herself forever now and I’m sure Nasty has kicked her a few times for missing ME). The show had a nautical theme; there were pirates (arrrrrrrrgh), lots of crotch touching, menstrual blood (all fake of course and coursing with glitter), face fisting, a big boobied hula girl, a 1920’s swimmer, and (of course) a space girl with an afro and a Star Trek dress on. Variety is the spice of life but nothing beats a good face fisting!!!! During the daytime I met up with Amber Ray, Darlinda and Tigger! for dim sum and a chat in a park in China Town.

Two words about our chat “BOB” “MACKIE”!!!

Monday was lovely, the highlights being the weather, a nice long walk in the city buying costume bits and pieces and Cowgirls. Darlinda was shopping for her “Night of 1000 Stevies” costume so we went to the garment district and to the flower district. I had an “older lady” moment at the flower shop. The cute sales guy helping us didn’t know who Stevie Nicks was OR Fleetwood Mac. I think my eyes bulged like Barbara Bush’s for a moment but I popped them back in when I realized I didn’t have a thyroid problem and that the guy was, as I suspected, 19 years old (with the cutest darned lisp you’ll ever hear). Arrrrgh! Not know about Fleetwood!?! Then I thought “If he were my son he’d know who they were!” Then I thought “I’m old enough to be his mother!” Then I thought “I’m happy I’m not his mother.” All is well in the world so Darlinda and I wandered to Chelsea and ate at the Famous Cowgirl next to a bunch of christian teenagers celebrating a birthday being served by a crazy guy in a bobbled sombrero. “Yum yum!” to margarita but “Oh shit!” when it makes you fall asleep while a great band is backing Rev. Vince Anderson in Williamsburg later that night and you almost fall off your chair

I got home yesterday after an uneventful flight. I was fortunate enough to be sitting in an aisle seat with 3 seats in between the other fellow in my row, so I slept on my side on two seats and happily woke up 2 1/2 hours later to eat a nasty croissant and get my tired ass home. When I got there there was stuff to do and people to talk to so when I finally took a little nap, I got the only text that didn’t make me curse mobile phones forever!!!! Two Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds tickets were being offered to me from the lovely Jane who directed the video I was in for the band. Needless to say I called the buddies I knew were fans and ended up taking an old acquaintance Delany (formally of the Dead Brothers) who happened to be in town from New Zealand performing his solo music. The gig was great, except for the part when I almost fell asleep while half falling over. Seems to be a trend; maybe I should take a breather.

Tonight, well actually last night seeing that it’s 2:30 in the AM, I performed at Vauxhallville at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern and did two of my new favorite acts for the circus theme; “I wear a horse head and pretend I’m in the Grand National and break my leg and get shot” and the lion tamer act that I perform with Simon Bear from Bearlesque. I get to maul Simon, who’s styled himself after Seigmund (sp?) and our neck bite/blood squirt was perfect! Simon said he could feel the pool of blood (fake fake fake blood) growing under his cheek as I quietly fucked his corpse while licking my paw clean… awww. Sweet.

Someday I’ll have an insight into what it is to be in NYC and London but I’m too tired and stupid right now.



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